Sunday, 16 May 2010

Alone.

Out of all the things I miss, I miss me the most.

Yes; I miss me, I miss my soul, my personality, my attitude, I miss everything that made me who I used to be.

It's not easy loosing who you are, whats harder is getting it back.

I thought I got me back, but no i didn't. I am in denial, covering up this horrible self with... denial.

Funny is what it is, what's left of me?

I did all what i thought I'd never do...

I want to be strong,
I want to be selfish,
I want to care about me and me only,
I want to live up to my expectations,
I want to be me...

I don't want to live for tomorrow and forget today,
I don't want to care about those who will not bring something into my life,
I don't want to lie,
I don't want to be something I am not...

I woke up happy today, thought I could actually make something out of it,

But that wasn't happiness, that was just a high; I high from exactly what I detest about myself...

I know whats right, and i know whats wrong...

I know what is expected of me...

I know what I want and I know how to get it.

But knowing itself is not enough, at this point I need more than knowing,,

I need that push, that wake up call...

I want to be left alone, alone to end what I started...

I want to be left alone,

Why is it I hurt those who would benefit the most from my isolation by just keeping to myself?

Alone,

Alone,

Alone.

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