Tuesday, 28 September 2010

I'm so lost at the moment I can't even explain,

It's hard walking around with a lump in your throat,

Trying so hard to hold your tears back,

It's even harder walking around in a place where people know you failed at the only thing you wanted most out of life,

The people here don't make it any easier,

Everyone is so shallow and two faced,

ahhh aby just one genuine person...

I want to cry,

Cry my heart out,

Cuddle my pillow and not leave my place for a whole week,

But no I have to put on a happy face while I carry on fucking my life.

النفس ليه عافت كل شي تشوفه مر

Wednesday, 15 September 2010


When I was young

Around the age of 9 or so,

I had this rule I'd go by,

If today was a bad day,

Tomorrow will be a good one,

And vice versa,

But as I grew older,

As time went by,

Day after day they broke my rule,

And now I'm stuck in a phase where tomorrow doesn't seem any better than today.

I hate talking this way,

I wish I could write down something happy,

But i can't,

I stopped smiling from my heart,

And this is the only place where I don't need to fake a thing.

What do you do when those closest to you see your strengths as flaws?

I wish I'd do better at explaining how I feel and what I want.

A shoulder to lean on is all I want,

Why does it seem so hard?

Why did people stop listening,

Why are we become more and more self-centered?

Why Why Why

Why is it every time we ask why we fool ourselves in expecting a certain answer,

Yet deep inside hidden in the corner of our heart it lays unseen.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010


We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
(Harrison Ford)

Second chance?

We hear this phrase so often,

But it usually follows an act of failure.

Does it really exist,

Or are we just creating a delusive occurrence to bring about a sense of re-assurance?

I've reached a point where I've realized a second chance does not exist,

We live in a world of constant change,

Simultaneously we as humans undergo endless change,

It is only when those two changes interlink in a way favorable to us,

We see chance.

It took me a while to understand what I was trying to say,

Hope it makes sense.

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender lyrics
Songwriters: Mclachlan, Sarah;

It doesn't mean much
It doesn't mean anything at all
The life I've left behind me is a cold room

I've crossed the last line
From where I can't return
Where every step I took in faith betrayed me
And led me from my home

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

Take me in, no question's asked
You strip away the ugliness that surrounds me
(Who are you?)
Are you an angel?

Am I already that gone?
I only hope that I won't disappoint you
When I'm down here on my knees
(Who are you?)

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
(Who are you?)

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

Don't understand
The touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
I miss the little things
I miss everything about you

Doesn't mean much
It doesn't mean anything at all
The life I left behind me is a cold room
(Who are you?)

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
(Who are you?)

And sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give

Wednesday, 1 September 2010


Ok, so once again my mind is blank,

I was going to write something about my b-day, bs nothing that special happened.

It can be summed up in one word, family-ish... makes sense? Kinda...

Moving on, mo 7asa ib 6a3m irme'6an this year, it feels very akward.

Is it just me or is anyone else going through the same thing?

I find this very hard to think about between me and myself, therefore explaining it is going to be tough ...

Umm how shall i begin...

I feel cut off from God... I stopped getting emotions in my heart when he is mentioned, I stopped getting goosebumps when someone talks about miracles and all... But i still believe in him...

It makes me sad and frustrated, I feel lost, I know what i want, I want to keep believing and i want to regain my faith... bs how?

Everytime i want to get closer, i walk 10 steps back...

Anyone got ideas to help ?