Saturday, 19 November 2011


Woke up feeling confused,

I've been having really weird dreams lately,

Which I'm positive must mean something,

Because they seem to revolve around the same thing.

On another note something else is confusing me as well,

When I'm all alone and cut off from the world I feel down,

Yet when people are constantly calling and asking I feel suffocated,

I don't know where my comfort zone is,

This girl keeps talking to me via all portals,

Shes either texting,



Whatsapping... if thats even a word,

And calling me on viper ;/

As if her regular phone calls aren't enough,

Shes always wanting to go out or hangout together,

Thing is I've only known her for like 3 weeks!

I don't mind being around her but I need my space,

I'm fed up with having to let her down with lame excuses.

Got my phone switched off now,

And its so quiet at the moment,

But I not comfortable,

Something isn't right today and I'm not sure what it is,

Just not happy with me today.

Got 3 weeks to go then this term is over,

Which means I'm going to be exactly half way to getting a degree,

I'm not satisfied with what I'm going to end up with,

And some days I dream of doing something much bigger,

Other days I fall into lazy mode and try to convince myself with what I have,

Why do I have to be like this?

So much can change in my life if I just do what I'm supposed to be doing,

Instead I go in circles fearing failure,

But in the end doing nothing is just another road to failure itself.

Now something completely of topic....

I don't like you,

Nor does it feel ok when we talk,

But listening to you fall asleep,

And waking up to your voice,

Getting those cheeky comments once in a while,

It all makes me smile,

Just wish it wasn't you giving me this.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

I really want to blog, like really!

But I just can't seem to get anything down,

I miss pouring my heart out.

Blogging means a great deal to me,

It's where I am me and no one can judge,

Where I get to figure myself out,

Where after I type that last line a weight lifts off my heart.

I guess I developed new ways of dealing with pain,

Or maybe I actually stopped feeling pain all together,


Coming to think about it I stopped being so dramatic about everything,

So maybe thats why there's nothing to obssess about.

So far this year I suprised myself with a lot of things,

Lately I've been so good at saying whats on my mind out loud,

For instance I told off my lab partners infront of a professor,

That would've never happened before,

I became more social around people I don't know and actually made a few new friends,

And I also gave an old perv a piece of mind when trying to hit on me !

So is this part of growing up?

"One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment. "

~Harold Coffin